I (Dis)Agree: Poppy's Transformation to Power and Artistic Freedom

Poppy voice “Uuuuh, heavy”

I have one of the strongest and also one of the most complex relationships with this record that I’ve ever had. I’ve been a fan of Poppy ever since she started posting those creepy YouTube videos (you probably remember them: Poppy with her robotic baby voice, standing in front of the white background, talking in that ASMR-ish voice, sometimes talking with her plant, sometimes with Charlotte). I vividly remember being in my childhood bedroom, not having moved out to my own place, and stumbling upon these videos via some kind of odd Twitter link and staying up all night to watch them. I was weirded out, I was confused…and I just kept watching. Who was this person? Is this the real life? Or is it just fantasy?

I was initially drawn to her music because she did something that I personally love(d) the most: she released really really fabulous pop music.

And so my love story with Poppy began and just continued throughout the years, albeit with some rocky moments in between.

To understand why I was so surprised by this record, I have to bring you back all the way to the beginning. I was initially drawn to her music because she did something that I personally love(d) the most: she released really really fabulous pop music. I remember bopping to the cotton candy sounds of her first EP Bubblebath (RIP to the album that could have been) while on my first big vacation away, in New York City. It was everything that I ever wished for in pop music and I accepted Poppy for what she was supposed to stand for: a caricature of everything that made pop music pop - but also, my own personal pop music savior. Kind of like people did not care that Ashley O was supposed to be satire and mocking the scene, I also did not care when it came to Poppy. I loved the sugar-coated vision that I was being sold, this outrageously glossy sound that was so rare and so bold in those whisper pop times.

To me, Poppy was pure pop! And “Money” is a timeless classic that is still on repeat.

Over the years, as the sound started to shift with every release, I kept having to ask myself: “This is so weird - Is this still something that I enjoy?” Her debut album Poppy.Computer was the easiest to accept of them all for me. It hyperfocused on her persona and very seamlessly transported the weirdness of her videos into music. From “Bleach Blonde Baby” to “Interweb,” I was still able to find some cute moments that I enjoyed. The shift then started to happen when Poppy released her second record, Am I A Girl? More heavy-metal sounds were incorporated and everything just got a bit too dark for me. I started to lose interest as this was definitely not my cup of tea back then. I still enjoyed Am I A Girl? to some extent - I even saw her live in Berlin during that era - but I couldn’t properly connect. The EP that followed, Choke, was the coffin in the nail for me, or so I thought. Shit just got too weird for me. From the production, the vocal effects, the trizillion explored sounds. I still watched the YouTube videos but it felt more like I was studying someone finding themselves from afar. While I’m writing this, I have to laugh a bit about my own words because both “Choke” and “Voicemail” are now some of my favorite songs by her.

While it was definitely not pop and definitely not something I would have chosen by myself if I hadn’t been a fan of hers before, this record convinced me.

And then it happened. Towards the end of 2019, Poppy started her rollout for her third record, I Disagree. And I started to dig it and truly get the vision. To be fair, I also felt like I was losing my mind when listening to these tracks but surprisingly, it started to click for me when I simply let myself experience them for what they were. The EPs and the record before were all just a preparation, a very subtle-not-subtle way of transitioning her fans into this new era, into this updated Poppy, the one she actually wanted to be, not the one she had to be. And I loved everything about this new era. While it was definitely not pop and definitely not something I would have chosen by myself if I hadn’t been a fan of hers before, this record convinced me. I loved the aesthetic, from the creepy cover with the choker to the videos. I loved the way Poppy started to play with genres, breaking and bending them like some kind of musical Avatar, and the way this actually felt honest and authentic to her as a person. I loved seeing her come out of this fabricated shell and letting it all burn down. I loved how angry she sounded on the record, how raw and real the emotions were portrayed, not only through her voice but also through the batshit insane production (I’m still OBSESSED with the bass that’s turned up to 200% on “BLOODMONEY”). I could tell that there was so much hurt just bubbling inside of her, waiting to be let out and I understood, truly felt it, especially during the time of the release as I was going through my own shit privately.

Now, seven years later, I would classify I Disagree as the pillar and dividing block not only in Poppy’s discography but also within her artistry. Before, she was just a persona, created, shaped, and controlled by external forces. Since then, she started appearing as herself, finding her independence and acting out her own vision. Since then, she cut ties with her long-term creative partner, who she also accused of abuse, formed a new team around her for her following records and even started directing her own videos (“Sit/Stay” of this record being one of them).

The chaos, the creative energy, this sheer and unfiltered drive to break down all of the walls, burn down what has been created before you and rise like a phoenix from the ashes, were something so truly relatable.

I hope this doesn’t sound too odd but I believe that is what made me connect to and enjoy this record as much as I did. It felt real. Even all of this time later, I continue listening to and raging along with this record. The chaos, the creative energy, this sheer and unfiltered drive to break down all of the walls, burn down what has been created before you and rise like a phoenix from the ashes, were something so truly relatable. It’s one of the most interesting releases I’ve heard and I’m really grateful that I kept an open mind and kept following her on her journey.

So, while Poppy is definitely not “Pop” anymore, she really truly surprised me with this record and also helped me find my way into ‘heavier’ musical genres. A shift I NEVER would have anticipated (but never say never).